"Sign states “Watch for Long Logs”" - Sign in Mississippi
"Various state-issued construction signs in a childish handwriting say “Slow down my daddy (and mommy) works here” and “FREE Speeding Tickets Ahead!”" - Road Construction Points, New Jersey
"A sign on a telephone pole reads, “No Posting Signs”." - Unknown Road, Douglasville, GA
"Children Drive Slowly" - Throughout the UK
"Do not make grilled cheese in the waffle makers" - St. Mary’s College of Maryland Cafeteria
"Cruise ships use airport exit" - Freeway near San Diego, CA
"Cemetery Road. Dead End" - South Side of San Antonio, TX
"In case of flash flood climb to safety." - Estes Park, Colorado
"Impassable during high water." - Route 94, West Alton, MO
"The sign reads, “Please Pre-Pay in advance.”" - A gas pump
"Thou shalt not park" - Church Parking Lot Sign
"Road Closed. Use Sidewalk." - Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH
"Wait for Green" - Unknown Traffic Light, Brick, NJ
"Street closed to traffic when flooded." - Many streets in Savannah, GA
"If tunnel is dark, remove sunglasses." - Smoky Mountain National Park, Tennessee
"."Parking for drive-thru service only - McDonald’s in Johnson City, NY
"Public Property, Keep out!" - Jefferson City, Missouri High School Football Field
"Soccer not allowed. Soccer may only be played in archery range." - Lime Kiln Park, Grafton, WI
"State Prison: Do Not Stop for Hitchhikers"- Interstate 10, Near Phoenix, AZ
"Do not pass while opposing traffic present." - Boyne Falls, Michigan, U.S. 131
"Warning to tourists: don’t laugh at the natives." - Highway 26, Idaho Falls, Idaho
"In Jamaica, they call Speed Bumps “Sleeping Policemen”, so in some parts of the island, there are signs that read, “Warning! Sleeping Policemen Ahead”." - Various Parts of Jamaica
"Caution water on road during rain." - Unknown Road, Clemson, SC
"Small Department of Transportation sign amidst wildflowers in the median states, “Wildflowers”." - Interstate 24 Between Chattanooga and Nashville
"No stopping or standing." - A sign at bus stops everywhere.
"Do not sit under coconut trees." - A sign on a coconut palm in a West Palm Beach park circa 1950.
"These rows reserved for parents with children." - A sign in a church.
"All cups leaving this store, rather full or empty, must be paid for." - A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.
ON A BAG OF FRITOS: - "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: - "Fits one head."
My favourite - On a Plumber's Shop: "We repair what your husband fixed." And at a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout." 1) At an Optometrist's office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
2) In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there hungry. Come on in and get fed up."
3) In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
4) On a Plumber's Shop:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
5) On the trucks of a Plumbing Company:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call us."
6) Pizza Shop Slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
7) At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
8) On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
9) At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
10) Another Pizza shop slogan:
"Buy our pizza. We knead the dough."
11) On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
12) In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and put you out."
13) On a Septic Tank Truck sign:
"We're #1 in the #2 business."
14) On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
15) On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
16) At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."
17) Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
18) In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"We'll be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
19) At a New Orleans waste disposal company:
"Our business is picking up, but it still stinks."
20) At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be de-Lighted."
Extra: In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Please drive carefully. We'll wait."
Extra: At a Propane Filling Station:
"Tank heaven for little grills."