It's great to be a guy

It's great to be a guy

Reasons why it's great to be a guy

  • Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

  • You know stuff about tanks.

  • A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.

  • Monday Night Football.

  • Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

  • You can open all your own jars.

  • Old friends don't annoy you if you've lost or gained weight.

  • Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.

  • When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.

  • A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.

  • Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.

  • You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

  • You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

  • Your last name stays put.

  • You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

  • When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

  • You can kill your own food.

  • The garage is all yours.

  • You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

  • You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.

  • You never have to clean the toilet.

  • You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.

  • Wedding plans take care of themselves.

  • If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

  • Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.

  • The National College Cheerleading Championship

  • None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

  • You don't have to shave below your neck.

  • If you're 34 and single nobody notices.

  • Everything on your face stays its original color.

  • Chocolate is just another snack.

  • You can be president.

  • You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

  • Flowers fix everything.

  • You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

  • You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

  • Three pair of shoes are more than enough.

  • You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

  • You can say anything and not worry about what people think.

  • Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.

  • You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

  • You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.

  • Car mechanics tell you the truth.

  • You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.

  • You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking: He must be mad at me.

  • You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.

  • You get to jump up and slap stuff.

  • One mood, all the time.

  • You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

  • You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.

  • Same work....more pay.

  • Gray hair and wrinkles add character.

  • Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

  • You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.

  • You don't mooch off others' desserts.

  • The remote is yours and yours alone.

  • People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

  • ESPN's sports center.

  • You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

  • You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

  • You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.

  • If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed.

  • Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

  • If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.

  • Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.

  • If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.

  • New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

  • You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.

  • Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"

  • Baywatch

  • There is always a game on somewhere.