Pennsylvania Jokes
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
Fan Hit During Game A fan was hit in the head by a broken bat during a matchup between the Pirates and the Brewers. He suffered far less trauma than those who actually had to watch the entire game.
Pittsburgh Pirate Parrot Anybody who watches baseball knows that the Pittsburgh Pirates trade away all of their good players every year. Ok, having said that, here's the joke.
Did you hear the news? The Pirates traded away their mascot for a couple of minor league mascots!
Bumpy roads, tale me home, to the place I belong,
Pennsylvania, land of potholes, take me home.
I hear the car as it rattles down the highway,
Each bump tearing at its springs and shocks.
And each thump and groan reminds me,
The garage bill is coming soon some day.
Pennsylvania Road System Slogans
1. If you can build a better highway, we'd like to see it!
2. Potholes....Shmotpoles!
3. Highway numbers go to the highest bidder!
4. Land of 10,000 potholes.
5. We don't repair roads, we destroy them!
You know you're from Pennsylvania if...
You only own three spices: salt, pepper, ketchup.
You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.
You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread and milk when you hear the word "snow."
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
You owe more money on your snowmobile or John Deere than your car.
The first day of "Buck Season" and "Doe Season" is a school holiday.
Your snowblower gets stuck on your roof.
The local paper covers National and International headlines on 1/4 page but requires six pages for sports.
School closings due to snow take the radio stations a half an hour to finish, because just about every town has its own school district.
When someone says 1972, you think "Agnes," and when someone says 1979, you think "TMI."
You call sloppy joes "barbecue."
When it snows, they put cinders on the roads instead of sand.
You think the start of deer hunting is a National Holiday.
You pronounce "Suite" as SUIT, not SWEET. As in Living Room Suite.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
You only buy your beer and soda by the case.
You think the roads in any other state are smooth.
You find -20F "a little" chilly.
You ask the waitress for "dippy eggs" for breakfast.
The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.
You know the four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.
There are still places you can still stop along the road to buy fruits, vegetables, or crafts on the "honor system."
The municipality buys a Zamboni before a school bus.
You never see any Confederate Flags, except on the Gettysburg Battlefield.
You prefer Hershey's Chocolate to Godiva.
You consider Pittsburgh to be "out west," and you know the fastest way to Philly is the Turnpike.
You can give directions to Intercourse with a straight face.
You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Penna. friends......