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Those wonderful instructions on the sides of packets, tins and just about anything else you ever buy. And we've all seen them, the ones that make you wonder whether some people really are that stupid.
MISCELLANEOUS WARNING LABELS
"Before installing this fanbelt, be sure you shut off the engine as it may cause irreversible injury" - Unknown Car Fanbelt
"WARNING: Do not attempt flips or other acrobatic stunts" - Unknown Trampoline
"Warning: Do not operate at high or excessive speeds." - Yamaha Banshee 4-wheeler (One of fastest sport ATVs on market)
"Made in America. Parts from Japan. Assembled in Mexico." - Fender Guitar
"Not Dishwasher Safe" - RCA Television Remote Control
"Caution: Risk of fire." - Pine Mountain Fire Logs
"Warning: Not for human consumption" -Triops Fish Food
"Do not consume" - Home Depot Treated Lumber
"To prevent possible injury, do not apply the hose or the lid sealer to any part of the body while vacuum pump is in operation." - Foodsealer (Vacuum seals foods)
"Do not return used condoms to the manufacturer through the mail." - Ansell Condoms
"Warning: Not for Human Consumption" - Bloodworms (frozen red mosquito larvae sold as food for tropical fish)
"Warning! Improper packing of this parachute may result in serious injury or death to the user!!" - Unknown Parachute
"Suitable for outdoor use." - Unknown Rain Gauge
"Avoid Collision" - On back of barge at Portsmouth Naval Shipyard, NH
"Keeps doors open!" - Waxman Soft Touch Doorstops
"This bag is not a toy." - Unknown Bag
"This bag contains forest products." - Unknown Pine Bark Mulch
"For indoor use only." - Christmas Star – Outdoor Icicle Lights
"Warning: Do not ignite in face." -Zippo Lighter
"Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes." - Unknown Pepper Spray
"Keep out of children." - Unknown Korean Kitchen Knife
"Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition." - Auto-Shade Windshield Visor
"WARNING: Pucks, hockey sticks, balls, bats, racquets, and other objects flying into spectator area can cause serious injury." - General Admission Ticket to Unknown Hockey Game
"Do not ingest." - Unknown Lava Lamp
"Do not put boiling water or more than 10% alcohol in this cup." - Unknown Glass Cup
"WARNING: Do not weld can to rim." - Fix-a-Flat
"All divers must land in water!" - Unknown Diving Board
"Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only." - Unknown Christmas Lights
"Ignite lighter away from face." - Bic Lighter
"This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark" - Komatsu Floodlight
"Caution: Non-Flamable" - Unknown Fire Extinguisher
"These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe. - Ear Plugs
"If swallowed, promptly see doctor" - Energizer AAA 4 Pack
"Caution: this tool will cut." - Machettee
"Parents! The door handle can be opened by small children" - Summerfield Suites – Near Door
"Caution: Contents may catch fire." - Unknown Matches
"Description reads “WARNING – May cause cancer in California”" - Roll-A-Hose
"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." - On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.
"Do not drive with sunshield in place." - On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." - On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.
This is NOT a life saving device!!! - On a life saving device
“Additional purchase idea’s: rocks, aquatic plant life, fish” - Wal-Mart Fish Tank
"May irritate eyes." - On a can of self-defense pepper spray.
"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." - On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."
"Please keep out of children." - ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE.
"Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." - On a birthday card for a 1 year old.
"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." - On a battery.
"Caution: Do not swallow contents." - Stadium Football
"Warning: Remove tape before using car seat." - Cosco Car Seat with Instructional Video
"Warning: Do not use on eyes." - In the manual for a heated seat cushion.
"Do not look into laser with remaining eye." - On a laser pointer.
"For use on animals only." - On an electric cattle prod.
"Use for sex only – not to be eaten" - Trojan Condoms
"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." - On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.
"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." - A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.
"Warning: knives are sharp!" - On the packaging of a sharpening stone.
"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -Scripto “Aim ‘n Flame” Butane Lighter
"Fragile. Do not drop." - Posted on a Boeing 757.
"Cannot be made non-poisonous." - On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.
"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." - On a portable stroller.
"Look before driving." - On the dash board of a mail truck.
"For indoor or outdoor use only." - ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS.
"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." - On a sign at a railroad station.
"Safe for use around pets." - On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter.
"Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." - On a lighter.
"Do not eat if seal is missing." - On said seal.
"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." - Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." - On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.
"For lifting purposes only." - On the box for a car jack.
"Do not use house paint on face." - In a Visa commercial that depicts an expecting couple looking for paint at a hardware store.
"Do not drive cars in ocean." - In a car commercial which shows a car in the ocean.
"Always drive on roads. Not on people." - From a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert.
"For a limited time only." - From a Rally's commercial that described how their burgers were fresh.
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