Jokes
  • Register

Papa Joe in Madison, ConnecticutConnecticut Jokes

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet

 


 

A while ago, I went skiing in England. It was a rare package: two weeks in England, one night in Connecticut, two weeks in England. I said, "Yes, I'll take it." I got on this chairlift with this guy I didn't know. We went halfway up the mountain without saying a word. Then he turned to me and said, "You know, this is the first time I've gone skiing in ten years." I said, "Why did you take such a long time off?" He said, "I was in prison. Want to know why?" I said, "Not really. Well, you better tell me why." He said, "I pushed a total stranger off a Ferris wheel." I said, "I remember you."
 


 

You Know You're From Connecticut When...



You have hiked up a big hill or small mountain at least once for a keg party.

You never went to a bar in high school.

You thought that the only highways were 91 and 84.

You thought everyone couldn't buy beer after 8 pm

You actually thought that Hartford was big

You or someone you know has attended UCONN

{googleAds} {/googleAds}


You drive a JETTA

You still think that the Whalers are cool.

You have been to Misquamicut and to that little hot dog place.

There is a farm within miles of your house

You thought bars were really for people over 21

Your high school thanksgiving football game was the highlight of your school year.

You don't have an accent when you talk.

You have known at least 2 preppy rich kids from Fairfield who listen to Phish.

You love Hilton Kaderli and your mom cried when he retired.

UConn basketball rules and no one can tell you different

You have deer in your backyard.

You didn't drink or do drugs until 10th grade.

You still don't understand why people say that Connecticut is the richest state.

Your best friend went to Central, Western, Eastern and finally Manchester Community College.

Your mom works at Travelers and your dad works at Pratt and Whitney.

You have been drunk at the Meadows and don't remember the concert.

You go to Riverside at least once a summer.

Your parents actually care about the Governor, the Patriots coming to Hartford, the lights at Christmas in Hartford & Channel 3 news.

You have a UCONN flag outside of your house year round.

You think New Jersey was a toxic waste dump.

You hang out at Denny's.

You've partied at bonfires.

You have at least one friend with a pickup.

You think everyone works tobacco in the summer.

You think Old Lyme is a shore town.

You've been to Cape Cod.

You think the Connecticut River is endless.

The town diner is the only place open after midnight.

You have at least 4 friends who drive Jeep Grand Cherokees.

You root for all the New York sports teams.

If anybody asks, you're from just outside of New York.

You've never looked at a public bus schedule.

You have both girlfriends and guyfriends with the same name as you.

You go to the diner late night to post party.

You think New Haven is the worst ghetto you've ever seen.

You can proudly tell an outsider about Nutmeg.

You weekend either on the Cape or Rhode Island at a summer home.

You have said, " I'm in a good location... Between both Boston and New York."

You can carry on a conversation about Mike Liut, Torrie Robertson, and the Brass Bonanza.

You have to explain Cow Tipping to people from out of state.

When you go to a real city, you sincerely feel bad for every poor / homeless person you see.

You get pissed at anyone who doesn't know how to drive in the snow.

You can name all the members of the UCONN men's and women's basketball teams.

You still can't find your way in Hartford (except for that bar area near Union Station.)

You hold the door open for someone and they don't say "Thank You."

You own a golden or a lab (used to...)

You own real Oakley's.

You only know Westbrook and Clinton because they have good outlets.

You don't think you're a yuppie, but the rest of the country does.

You only ski in Vermont or out West.

Your mother is the head of the PTA.

There is absolutely nothing to do in the winter.

You live twenty minutes from either an Abercrombie & Fitch, J. Crew, or GAP.

You sail, or know someone who does.

You don't understand why everyone else has not been to Europe.

You can't get through the week with out a Coffee Coolata.

Your family owns more cars than legal drivers.

School attire is a North Face fleece jacket, a North Face Fleece or L.L. Bean back pack, a plaid shirt, khakis, and Doc Martens.

Summer footwear is either Reefs or Birks.

You carry your keys on a carabiner, but you don't know how to rock climb.

You feel for the homeless, but are not willing to give up the golf course land to develop a homeless shelter.

As a child you took horseback riding, golfing, tennis and swimming lessons.

You grew up wanting to be a lifeguard.

You own every DMB CD.

The state is so small you know where all the speed traps are.

You can't understand why people don't understand what your talking about when you refer to a "package" store.

You went to prep school even though your public schools are awesome.

People actually wear sweaters around their necks.

You've never taken public transportation.

You know of at least one person whose house was totally trashed after a huge party.

Your mom drives a Volvo wagon.

You have at least one friend whose house was built in the 1800's.

You live in a huge colonial.

You know at LEAST one person who has been pulled over and found to have weed in their car.

The only overcrowding is of deer in your backyard.

Your house would cost half as much in any other state.

Your wardrobe contains at least three pairs of cords and five wool sweaters.

Half of your friends are from another town because yours is so small.

At least one of your friends has a sick house right on the water.

 

Add comment


Security code
Refresh

MAIN MENU

Home

Weird Facts

Weird Facts & More

Origin of Phrases

Weird State Laws

Weird Riddles

Weird Labels

Weird Myths

Weird Science

Fun Facts & Stuff

Jokes

Crafts

Weird Thoughts

Optical Illusions

Famous Quotes

Animal Facts

World Facts

Solar System Facts

Weird Interesting

Phobias

Tongue Twisters

Awesome Videos

Funny Photos

Weird Surveys

Funny Interesting Stuff

Forum Weird

Smart Search